Today, I got to experience the annual joy and rapture that is Christmas dinner with my dad's side of the family; that's always an adventure. Between my little second cousins who spend the whole time running around and screaming, and my 93-year-old grandfather who never has any idea what's going on or who anyone is, it makes for one festive holiday. Needless to say there is a great deal of defensive drinking on Christmas...
I'm starting to feel a bit pathetic about my current life situation. I mean, taking time off school is perfectly acceptable, but when I decided to do it I had this shiny romanticized idea of being able to do whatever I want, released of the time restraints of semesters and due dates and deadlines... I conveniently failed to take into account the fact that I just spent literally ALL my monetary worth in London, and thus can't really do anything. I'm not necessarily complaining; I think as the season progresses I'll be glad I decided to stay home, but when I think about it now it just seems so lame: with 3 semesters to go in my degree, I'm living with my parents and working at Smoothie King.
I'm pretty sure the I'm-a-big-loser rut just came from talking to British Boy earlier (why do I always find boys at the most inconvenient times?). I always thought if I were to leave school I'd spend all my time just traveling around, going places on a whim; turns out that is completely impractical. And now, I have all this free time, and all I want to do is jet off back to London, and I can't. Fuck you, practicality.
I've decided I'm giving myself the equivalent of one semester to figure out what the fuck I want to do. By the fall I will either be heading to some (affordable) school, have a proper job, or I will have robbed a bank and fled to Monaco with my devilishly handsome partner-in-crime to open a casino under an assumed identity. Those are my options.
Whatever I end up doing though, there will be kitties involved!
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