Today, I got to experience the annual joy and rapture that is Christmas dinner with my dad's side of the family; that's always an adventure. Between my little second cousins who spend the whole time running around and screaming, and my 93-year-old grandfather who never has any idea what's going on or who anyone is, it makes for one festive holiday. Needless to say there is a great deal of defensive drinking on Christmas...
I'm starting to feel a bit pathetic about my current life situation. I mean, taking time off school is perfectly acceptable, but when I decided to do it I had this shiny romanticized idea of being able to do whatever I want, released of the time restraints of semesters and due dates and deadlines... I conveniently failed to take into account the fact that I just spent literally ALL my monetary worth in London, and thus can't really do anything. I'm not necessarily complaining; I think as the season progresses I'll be glad I decided to stay home, but when I think about it now it just seems so lame: with 3 semesters to go in my degree, I'm living with my parents and working at Smoothie King.
I'm pretty sure the I'm-a-big-loser rut just came from talking to British Boy earlier (why do I always find boys at the most inconvenient times?). I always thought if I were to leave school I'd spend all my time just traveling around, going places on a whim; turns out that is completely impractical. And now, I have all this free time, and all I want to do is jet off back to London, and I can't. Fuck you, practicality.
I've decided I'm giving myself the equivalent of one semester to figure out what the fuck I want to do. By the fall I will either be heading to some (affordable) school, have a proper job, or I will have robbed a bank and fled to Monaco with my devilishly handsome partner-in-crime to open a casino under an assumed identity. Those are my options.
Whatever I end up doing though, there will be kitties involved!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
On any given day you'll find me gone
What up homies! Back in Amurrica, y'all! I mean, I've been back for two days now, but it took a while to sink in...
Leaving was weird. I went to visit the boy's family, so I was gone over the weekend when most people left, meaning I never got to see them. I came back Sunday night to a nearly empty dorm. It's strange, because none of these people was a necessarily close friend, but they were people with whom I associated on a daily basis, and I had gotten very accustomed to their presence; so, it's strange to think that I'll most likely never see any of them again.
The boy's family was very lovely. When I met his mother she looked a bit teary and went "oh, Michael, she's just lovely!" very sincerely. (Sidenote: what is it with me and dudes named Mike? It's starting to freak me out.) It's still weird though, because it was like the family-meeting thing was simultaneously a next-step-in-the-relationship kinda gig and a final nice-knowing-you-here's-what-could-have-been thing. When I left he kept insisting that it was not the last time we'd see eachother and we'd stay in touch and blah blah blah, but I know from (recent) past experience that that won't work. Oh well. He was nice, though.
It feels so unnatural to think that I won't be back in school in the Spring. I guess there's still abou a 2% chance that I'll be back, but that is entirely dependent on the financial aid I get, and this time I'm not going to make my family struggle to find the money (plus I just spent literally ALL of the remainder of my education fund on Westminster). Basically, I'm only going back if they give me A LOT of money, and I know that is extremely unlikely. Thank god I got my summer job back.
Never fear, though, friends; I am already planning when I can come up and visit y'all. I mean, I have to work a few weeks/months first and re-earn some money, but I want to come up as sson as possible. I miss everybody like crazy! I miss the area, too. I'm not too bothered about the whole going to school bit, but I just mmiss the Hampshire routine, I guess. I'd like to get it back just for a few days, at least.
All I really want in life is the means to bounce back and forth between all the people I love, without worrying about so much goddamn money. I don't think I ever really need to stay in one place for too long, as long as I know I can come and go from anywhere as I please. Why can't I just be a nomad? Or a professional couchsurfer? Or, like, on the run from the law?
Whatevs. It's drinking time.
Leaving was weird. I went to visit the boy's family, so I was gone over the weekend when most people left, meaning I never got to see them. I came back Sunday night to a nearly empty dorm. It's strange, because none of these people was a necessarily close friend, but they were people with whom I associated on a daily basis, and I had gotten very accustomed to their presence; so, it's strange to think that I'll most likely never see any of them again.
The boy's family was very lovely. When I met his mother she looked a bit teary and went "oh, Michael, she's just lovely!" very sincerely. (Sidenote: what is it with me and dudes named Mike? It's starting to freak me out.) It's still weird though, because it was like the family-meeting thing was simultaneously a next-step-in-the-relationship kinda gig and a final nice-knowing-you-here's-what-could-have-been thing. When I left he kept insisting that it was not the last time we'd see eachother and we'd stay in touch and blah blah blah, but I know from (recent) past experience that that won't work. Oh well. He was nice, though.
It feels so unnatural to think that I won't be back in school in the Spring. I guess there's still abou a 2% chance that I'll be back, but that is entirely dependent on the financial aid I get, and this time I'm not going to make my family struggle to find the money (plus I just spent literally ALL of the remainder of my education fund on Westminster). Basically, I'm only going back if they give me A LOT of money, and I know that is extremely unlikely. Thank god I got my summer job back.
Never fear, though, friends; I am already planning when I can come up and visit y'all. I mean, I have to work a few weeks/months first and re-earn some money, but I want to come up as sson as possible. I miss everybody like crazy! I miss the area, too. I'm not too bothered about the whole going to school bit, but I just mmiss the Hampshire routine, I guess. I'd like to get it back just for a few days, at least.
All I really want in life is the means to bounce back and forth between all the people I love, without worrying about so much goddamn money. I don't think I ever really need to stay in one place for too long, as long as I know I can come and go from anywhere as I please. Why can't I just be a nomad? Or a professional couchsurfer? Or, like, on the run from the law?
Whatevs. It's drinking time.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
What are the odds this ends and we don't meet again?
It's soon to be my last weekend in London, so I'm spending it... in Brighton. Meeting a boy's family. ??? My gentleman-friend, of sorts, invited me to come stay with him in Sussex. I'm trying really hard not to read a lot into it and freak out, as is my first reaction; in general, people in a not-quite-relationship don't exactly get to the parents-meeting stage (especially when one of those people is 5 days away from moving out of the country...). When I look at the situation, though, it seems a lot less strange: he was planning on going home for the break on Friday, but decided to stick around here to have a few more days with me; this way, he can go home AND we can have more time.
The only problem is he wants me to stay until Monday, and just leave from there for the airport. But that would mean that TOMORROW would be my last full day in London. I don't think I can handle that. I'll probably just go up for the weekend, come home early on Sunday, and have the rest of the day to hang out here. I still have so much I want to do! I haven't been to the Tower of London yet! (At least not inside...) I haven't bought any Christmas presents! I haven't even seen Buckingham Palace! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE QUEEN! (Not that I really expect to see her, but still.) What have I been doing for the past 2 and a half months? I wasted too much time!
This brief glimpse into my fascinating melodrama was brought to you by my my extreme aversion to homework. Tune in next week, when we will examine he low grades received as a result of said aversion.
The only problem is he wants me to stay until Monday, and just leave from there for the airport. But that would mean that TOMORROW would be my last full day in London. I don't think I can handle that. I'll probably just go up for the weekend, come home early on Sunday, and have the rest of the day to hang out here. I still have so much I want to do! I haven't been to the Tower of London yet! (At least not inside...) I haven't bought any Christmas presents! I haven't even seen Buckingham Palace! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE QUEEN! (Not that I really expect to see her, but still.) What have I been doing for the past 2 and a half months? I wasted too much time!
This brief glimpse into my fascinating melodrama was brought to you by my my extreme aversion to homework. Tune in next week, when we will examine he low grades received as a result of said aversion.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sleep delays my life (get up!)
Oh my, I am the laziest of lazies. Definitely got up at 1:30 today. Woo. I then dicked around on the internet for a bit under the pretense of writing one of my four final papers (I haven't even thought about my final presentation yet...), read a book that has NOTHING to do with school, and took a shower. It is now 5 PM and guess who has nothing done? The worst thing is that I just don't fucking care. I know I'll get it done eventually; I always do, and I always get pretty acceptable marks on things. Because I strive for excellence, obvs.
Lately I've been planning my life as a college-dropout trophy wife. Here's how it'll go. I will hone my skills in the kitchen, and combined with my already stellar skills in the bedroom (ha!) I will snag a very rich young bachelor. We'll call him Stan. I will thoroughly enjoy my life with Stan for approximately 5 years, or enough time to convince him that I actually love him while spending my days drinking martinis and bangin' the 18 year-old down the street when Stan's at work; after the allotted time, I steal Stan's money (because he trusts me so much that he gave me access to his bank account) and flee to Europe. Later, I will write a feminist manifesto reccounting my horrible life as a housewife and how I escaped the oppression and have now dedicated my life to the educating and empowering women everywhere. (Stan, meanwhile, will have gone mad after losing me, and will be institutionalized in a psych ward to keep him from hurting himself or others.) My book will become a bestseller, because critics can't bash feminist writing without being called bigots, and I will become rich and famous. This sounds like a god plan, right?
I'm so hungry, and so horribly out of money. Seriously, I currently have in my kitchen the following things: rotten celery, rotten carrots, the tiny nub of a cucumber, some not-quite-rotten-but-almost baby spinach, brown rice, tea, peanut butter, one slice of moldy bread, and half a bottle of white wine. A delicious dinner that does not make. Minus the wine.
I think I'm gonna go try to fanagle a charity potato off my neighbor down the hall...
Lately I've been planning my life as a college-dropout trophy wife. Here's how it'll go. I will hone my skills in the kitchen, and combined with my already stellar skills in the bedroom (ha!) I will snag a very rich young bachelor. We'll call him Stan. I will thoroughly enjoy my life with Stan for approximately 5 years, or enough time to convince him that I actually love him while spending my days drinking martinis and bangin' the 18 year-old down the street when Stan's at work; after the allotted time, I steal Stan's money (because he trusts me so much that he gave me access to his bank account) and flee to Europe. Later, I will write a feminist manifesto reccounting my horrible life as a housewife and how I escaped the oppression and have now dedicated my life to the educating and empowering women everywhere. (Stan, meanwhile, will have gone mad after losing me, and will be institutionalized in a psych ward to keep him from hurting himself or others.) My book will become a bestseller, because critics can't bash feminist writing without being called bigots, and I will become rich and famous. This sounds like a god plan, right?
I'm so hungry, and so horribly out of money. Seriously, I currently have in my kitchen the following things: rotten celery, rotten carrots, the tiny nub of a cucumber, some not-quite-rotten-but-almost baby spinach, brown rice, tea, peanut butter, one slice of moldy bread, and half a bottle of white wine. A delicious dinner that does not make. Minus the wine.
I think I'm gonna go try to fanagle a charity potato off my neighbor down the hall...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Your sex is on fire
In Amsterdam... this is a silly place. mean, it's fun, but I swear to god the entire city is just a big joke. I'm sure there have to be real people here, who do real jobs and such, but outside the airport I haven't seen any. Maybe when I go Anne Frank's house, or the Van Gogh museum, there will be slightly less whimsy. Neither of them were exactly known for being whimsical, after all.
I love my hostel. It's clean and warm and totally doesn't smell like mold like the bad Edinburgh place. Also, there's a pub attached, and residents of the hostel get a 25% discout on food and two-for one vodka drinks. So, score!
My only complaint now is that we only get wifi in the pub, so I'm sitting here surrounded by a bunch of people eating and drinking and being cool and social, and I'm on my computer. I look super awesome. Drinking, alone in the corner with a laptop. Win.
I'm supposed to go meet up later with some random dudes that I met last night. I honestly don't know how I find these guys, or where they comefrom; I mean, not sketchy guys, just random. That that I'm complaining, though... hahahaha. They're always Australian, too. If I hadn't actually been there before, I would be convinced that no Australian actually lives in Australia; I've met more roaming Australians than anyone else. And they are all completely insane. I love it.
Alright. There's a soccer match on, and I wanna watch!
I love my hostel. It's clean and warm and totally doesn't smell like mold like the bad Edinburgh place. Also, there's a pub attached, and residents of the hostel get a 25% discout on food and two-for one vodka drinks. So, score!
My only complaint now is that we only get wifi in the pub, so I'm sitting here surrounded by a bunch of people eating and drinking and being cool and social, and I'm on my computer. I look super awesome. Drinking, alone in the corner with a laptop. Win.
I'm supposed to go meet up later with some random dudes that I met last night. I honestly don't know how I find these guys, or where they comefrom; I mean, not sketchy guys, just random. That that I'm complaining, though... hahahaha. They're always Australian, too. If I hadn't actually been there before, I would be convinced that no Australian actually lives in Australia; I've met more roaming Australians than anyone else. And they are all completely insane. I love it.
Alright. There's a soccer match on, and I wanna watch!
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