Oh my, I am the laziest of lazies. Definitely got up at 1:30 today. Woo. I then dicked around on the internet for a bit under the pretense of writing one of my four final papers (I haven't even thought about my final presentation yet...), read a book that has NOTHING to do with school, and took a shower. It is now 5 PM and guess who has nothing done? The worst thing is that I just don't fucking care. I know I'll get it done eventually; I always do, and I always get pretty acceptable marks on things. Because I strive for excellence, obvs.
Lately I've been planning my life as a college-dropout trophy wife. Here's how it'll go. I will hone my skills in the kitchen, and combined with my already stellar skills in the bedroom (ha!) I will snag a very rich young bachelor. We'll call him Stan. I will thoroughly enjoy my life with Stan for approximately 5 years, or enough time to convince him that I actually love him while spending my days drinking martinis and bangin' the 18 year-old down the street when Stan's at work; after the allotted time, I steal Stan's money (because he trusts me so much that he gave me access to his bank account) and flee to Europe. Later, I will write a feminist manifesto reccounting my horrible life as a housewife and how I escaped the oppression and have now dedicated my life to the educating and empowering women everywhere. (Stan, meanwhile, will have gone mad after losing me, and will be institutionalized in a psych ward to keep him from hurting himself or others.) My book will become a bestseller, because critics can't bash feminist writing without being called bigots, and I will become rich and famous. This sounds like a god plan, right?
I'm so hungry, and so horribly out of money. Seriously, I currently have in my kitchen the following things: rotten celery, rotten carrots, the tiny nub of a cucumber, some not-quite-rotten-but-almost baby spinach, brown rice, tea, peanut butter, one slice of moldy bread, and half a bottle of white wine. A delicious dinner that does not make. Minus the wine.
I think I'm gonna go try to fanagle a charity potato off my neighbor down the hall...
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Cougar Fatty!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have slept late! The four hours of sleep I did get were accomplished in the digital architecture lab with my head on my arm, accidentally. So... heading back there now.
I can't wait until you get home and I can SEE you! Because... being in London makes one invisible. Obvs.
stan would give you many charity potatoes.
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