Gray is the color I see around her; she's just a blur.

I'm so tired of being unhappy. I'm tired of trying to pretend I am happy so I don't annoy everyone with how not happy I am. I'm tired of being tense, of feeling uncomfortable, of feeling dissatisfied and disappointed, with myself, with everything around me. I'm tired of apologizing for how I feel. I'm tired of being too sensitive, of doubting everything, of being too hard on myself. I'm tired of getting so frustrated that all I can think to do is write lame blog posts. I'm tired of being tired.

I'm trying. I'm making an effort to feel better. Shouldn't that be enough?

Why am I always the one left feeling like shit?

Why don't we do it in the road?

(Because asphalt is uncomfy!)

Man, I am so glad my name isn't Morvin Schmookler.

So, I think I'm going to quit drinking until my birthday. Granted, I will likely feel differently in a week or so, but I'm gonna try. Goals!

Lots of heat+no air conditioning=cranky, sweaty Lily.